


There are Rules

by anfeltyz



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Gen, Magic and Science, Stubborn Lucifer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:34:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27079663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anfeltyz/pseuds/anfeltyz
Summary: Lucifer is not impressed by MC's arguments. There are rules and they apply to everyone, including whiny humans who don't seem to understand the one person per bedroom designation of the dorm.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 74





	There are Rules

**Author's Note:**

> Big thank you to Devinesin for their beta reading <3

“I don’t see what the big deal is. Nothing happens except sleep!" she said, raising her voice only to trail off at the memory of grit between her sheets and skin. "Well, other than Beel leaving crumbs in my bed.”

“It’s out of the question,” Lucifer said, and his tone held an edge of finality. His jacket swept behind him as he turned away, the tips streaking across her stomach and her hands still fisted on her hips..

For a moment, she considered not following. No, she had him on the ropes now. This was a retreat even if he didn't recognize it yet. "You don't let me go out alone," she said, jogging to catch up to him in the carpeted hallway. "So why is it then that when I'm sleeping, when I'm at my  _ most _ vulnerable, I shouldn't have at least one of my demons with me?”

“They're asleep as well,” he said, fixing his tie and continuing to walk straight ahead.

“Exactly, so what’s the harm?”

“I said no.”

“Lucifer, you're being stubborn.”

“Very well," he said. He halted only long enough to pivot his shoulders the slightest amount towards her so that he could look down on her. "Then you may keep Belphegor in a corner of your room.”

“Don't be ridiculous, you know he plays pranks when he's awake!”

But Lucifer had already begun walking again, his answer called back over his shoulder as if he didn't have a care in the world. “I don't see the problem. He'll be awake to guard you.”

She strode after him, stepping in front to bar his path, only to dance backward when she realized he would walk through her. “You think Beel will stay in his room for the next few months while Belphegor is just down the hall?”

There was no response to her bait, only the subtle depth of Lucifer's frown growing deeper.

“No, I have a better idea." she said. She stopped walking backwards, and pressed her hand to his stomach, stalling his momentum only by surprise. "Every night when I have a nightmare, I'm going to come crying to you. I'll be a gross, sobbing mess at your bedroom door, and you'll have to console me and then tuck me back into bed.”

“I will do no such thing.”

“If you don't, I will cry _ louder _ until one of your brothers finds me. And then, when I tell them that you've condemned me to nightmares every night  _ and _ left me to cry in the hall…" She took her hand away from him, flicking it casually to the side, encouraging his imagination to fill in the blanks. "Well, let's just say that if I'm not sleeping well you won’t be either.”

His eyes narrowed dangerously. “If you  _ must _ have a safety blanket each night," he bit out the words as if it pained him. "Then I will prepare a duty roster.”

“You haven't been paying attention then. I already have one.”

She hadn't thought his frown could get deeper, but her own undisguised exasperation had seemingly brought his consternation to a new level.

“Satan likes his space and the ability to pace and turn on lights when he wants to read and think,” she began, raising a finger for each demon as she spoke. “Asmo refuses to wear clothing to bed. Neither get to be my safety blanket.”

She dropped her chin slightly, looking up at the Avatar of Pride while she raised her eyebrows, silently asking whether he was listening.

When the muscle of his jaw ticked with annoyance she continued. “That only leaves Mammon, Leviathan, and the twins.”

Tucking her fingers into her palm, she brandished her thumb before pointing it behind her in the vague direction of Leviathan's lair. “I occasionally stay in Levi's room when we have a TSL marathon or if Mammon isn't allowed in my room.”

Lucifer shook his head, an expression of pity beginning to affect even his posture as the stiffness of his shoulders relaxed. He still looked down his nose at her. “Truly, stooping to sleep on the floor just to avoid Mammon…”

“On the floor? Why would I do that when Levi has a perfectly good tub?”

“Because he fills it with water!” Lucifer said, barely controlling the jerk of his arms from rising up in frustration. He kept his hands at his sides, but the leather of his gloves subtly squeaked whenever his hands tightened into fists. Did he know that his lip twitched when he was trying not to snarl at her?

“Only sometimes.”

“You expect me to believe that Leviathan is willing to give up his bed?”

“How can you even be associated with Asmo and never consider that Levi and I would share the tub?” She widened her eyes dramatically at his lack of imagination.

“His head would explode!” This time Lucifer did raise arms overhead. It wasn't as formidable a showing as his wings, but it still cast a shadow over her.

“No," she said. “Usually he forgets I'm there, panics when he finds me, faints and then slowly wakes up.”

“I don't believe you.”

“I once blew a raspberry on his stomach and he bristled until all of him was covered in scales. When he finally woke up again he said he couldn't move because his limbs had turned to 'limp seaweed'.”

A bone deep tiredness flickered across Lucifer's face, his eyelids drooped to half-cover his eyes, his eyebrows painfully plaintive. It was gone as quickly as it had come, the tension to his jaw returning, the harsh  _ click _ the only hint it had ever left.

“Lucifer," she said when he began to walk past her again. "Come on. You know they're just going to find new ways around the rule. Stop fighting a losing battle.”

“Very well. Four day rotations," he said, somehow still elegant despite the words being dragged out of him like pulled teeth.

“Three.” She couldn't see his expression, but the sharp inhale kept her talking, rapid fire to keep him from interjecting. “I told you that I already have a schedule. Beel wakes up crazy early for his work out. Which is just when Belphie is falling asleep.”

“Four.” 

It was clear he'd give his left horn before he’d let her correct him again but she'd have to try. “You're not listening. It won't work. I've tried other configurations.”

“The fourth night you will sleep in my room.”

She looked around the empty hall before calling his bluff. Stepping forward, she hugged him around the waist.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked with his arms held stiffly away from her.

“A test run.” She waited a few more seconds before releasing him and backing away. “Nope. Sorry, not gonna work.”

“Cease your inane jabbering. I didn't ask your opinion.”

“Lucifer, you hug like a frozen corpse. There's no way sharing a bed with  **_that_ ** will help me sleep.”

With a yelp, she found the world upside down. Having insulted him one too many times, she now dangled over Lucifer's shoulder as he continued the march to his room.

"Are you serious right now?" she asked incredulously. The brisk click of a door opening told her he was and she began to kick her feet.

Just as he closed the door behind them with his foot, she was sent airborne, bouncing ungracefully onto his bed.

“What are you doing?" Her voice was more high-pitched than she would've liked. "Do you know how many layers of cultural misunderstanding this could be?”

“If you're going to take a 'test run' then you should do it properly and make an informed decision," Lucifer said, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Only the hint of a smile in his voice gave away that he was enjoying her discomfort.

He tossed his coat over the back of a chair and unbuttoned the cuffs of his sleeves, rolling them up as he ignored her, just another task on his checklist of mundane activities. 

She scooted backwards as he tugged off his tie and toes off his shoes. Nearly at the edge of the massive bed, Lucifer caught her ankle and dragged her back.

An embarrassing 'Eep!' escaped her as she was maneuvered into being a little spoon. “Lucifer it's the middle of the day!”

“It's called a nap. Now be silent.”

She'd gotten used to Lucifer's tactics at some point; it was still easy for him to fluster her when he'd stand too close, or when he’d invite her for something in a manner that _ sounded _ risqué, but she'd learned to think quickly through the aftermath once his attention was elsewhere.

When she was certain he'd nodded off, she pulled out her D.D.D.. No signal? Of course there would be no signal in this box. Knowing Mister Old-Fashioned, he'd probably constructed a Faraday cage around the whole room just to avoid electronics. After all, Diavolo couldn't send him insane requests if Lucifer's D.D.D. couldn't receive them. She frowned at the thought. 

Lucifer's breathing had already evened out. Was he not sleeping enough again either? She'd have to talk to Diavolo about Lucifer's constant exhaustion, and subsequent foul moods.

But Diavolo could wait, if she didn't message one of her demons soon they'd end up demolishing the house when they realized she was missing. She couldn't summon them without magic, however this was an ideal time to test the next best thing.

Closing her D.D.D. to the lock screen, she held her thumb to it and waited until a thin turquoise string of energy unspooled from the device. She watched as the string slid off the bed toward the door, where it slithered back and forth at the threshold.

Wards. That must be why she had no reception here. She continued to watch with interest as the line of energy tried to make its way out to her nearest pactbonded demon. It tried windows and doors, and seams between wall and floor; it wasn't until it found the smallest of gaps in the ceiling molding that it slipped out of the room.

The string went taut more quickly than she'd expected and she waited with a vigilant anticipation.

Leviathan and Satan really were two peas in a pod, and they'd outdone themselves with their combined creation. She'd have to let them know how well the Save My Soul program worked as soon as she escaped.

Within a few minutes, she heard the slow turning of a door knob. She smiled, recognizing the glow of his eyes in the darkened room as the door quickly closed behind him to block out the hall lights.

Belphegor’s leadership of the Formerly Anti-lucifer League, and his pranking expertise, made him the perfect candidate to break in and rescue her. 

The turquoise ribbon had dissipated into nothing once Belphegor stepped inside, and she waited for his first clever step toward her freedom.

She'd expected a whispered plan and a gleeful Belphegor. Instead, she found herself quickly sandwiched between him and Lucifer.

“I can't believe you were napping without me,” he muttered quietly as he sidled up, careful not to jostle her or Lucifer.

Well, he was here now and didn't seem likely to be going anywhere without her promising him something ridiculous like her first born, or agreeing to call Satan 'Lucifer' all day. 

There was no point getting dragged out to the planetarium either for a different nap. Gripping Belphegor's sweater in one of her hands, she nuzzled into his chest. “Was my call not enough of an invitation?”

Maybe, just maybe, she would add Lucifer to the roster.


End file.
